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She is the breadwinner

“She is the breadwinner.” That’s what they say naively

“She is the breadwinner,” Moon tells me. 

Moon is a man as rare as his name. In a society like ours where the man is laid with so many expectations, I find it very intriguing that Moon does not flinch.

Moon Opal is married to Mrs Rose Opal, CEO of Opal Rose Fashion House. He is my friend from high school so, it is only normal that he lets me in on his thoughts.

As we speak, I am thrown into a stream of consciousness as Moon tells me about his unperturbed life of working under his wife. Join me as I stream through Moon’s thoughts.

“My wife and I have been married for 10 years now. She makes all the financial decisions at home – more like all the decisions.
I had been too involved in my job when we got married that I neglected the little things that had nothing to do with money. My wife didn’t have a job at that time.
She is a graduate, but she chose to go into fashion designing at the time so, she was undergoing training.
This allowed her to manage her schedule well. She would wake up very early and make all the necessary preparations for us to be set for work (me), and for school (the kids). It was a very easy time.

Now it’s all complicated…for me.

I lost my job 5 years ago. In my 10 years of marriage, no time has ever seemed more complicated than this second half of my time being married.

My sales job of 7 years left me with nothing but debts – I struggled to meet sales targets so much that I had to undersell some of the company’s products to meet up and it eventually blew up in my face.

With five years of wasted experience, I couldn’t find a job.

Since that time, it had been from one unsuccessful interview to the other so, I gave up on them. You know, it’s funny how time flies when you are job hunting.

It feels as though, you are tied up somewhere and nobody knows where to find you.

“She is the breadwinner.” That’s what I hear in whispers as I walked around in my neighbourhood.

My wife manages one of the best fashion outlets in Nigeria. If there is anything positive that came out of my wasted seven years, it is the fact that I trained my wife through fashion school.

My wife graduated from her fashion school one year before I lost my job. I was so happy. I sponsored the business and I gave her the capital to start up the business.

Honestly, that is one of the best decisions I made in my life. We (or she) make nothing less than 10 million NGN in every trimester.

Yes, my wife is that industrious – she has fashion schools set up in Lagos, Abuja, and Port-Harcourt.

My wife is famous for her work. If she was the president, I would have been the first lady.

No! I am not a lazy man. I am employed – well, by my wife – but why is that a bad thing. I head her sales team and we have managed to make countless sales and several business opportunities have been met.

Not to be boastful, but I was responsible for most of them. I am not lazy. I am only guilty of working for my wife – if that is a crime.

We make enough money, so, I don’t see any reason why I should work somewhere else when I can be productive here.

She is the breadwinner.

Yes, my wife is my boss and the company is in her name. Don’t think she bosses me around. My wife worships me as her husband.

My wife still does everything she has to do at home without protest. If you come to my company and you come to my house, there is no contrast. You can’t tell who is the boss at work.

Why are people telling me to take over my wife’s company? I am not a selfish man. I know my place. The love I share with my wife knows no reduction.

Why should I yield to people’s reasoning? My children attend the best schools and are well fed.”

From Moon’s experience, I have been able to come to an understanding which I would like to share with you.

Don’t allow people to make marital decisions for you. Who you give your ears to is important.

Moon tells me, “They say I should start my own business. I laugh. What more can I ask for? I am not industrious even if I know the first thing about the market process.

Heading a company and selling is not the same.”

This is very true.

I laugh when I hear proclamations like, “I have a wife like you at home.” This is the most hilarious uninformed statement I have had the displeasure of hearing.

Just as your wife is very good at staying home to keep everything intact, another woman is good at running a business even more efficiently than the man.

And just as you as a man can run a business efficiently, another man can run a home with much more admirable precision than the woman.

Learn these and rid your mind of misunderstanding.

This is not to say that being the breadwinner makes you the boss. Moon informs me that his wife is nit disrespectful towards him as rich and influential as she is.

“My wife never agrees that she is the breadwinner. I still don’t know why she takes so much pride in humility.

Till she gets to understand that she is the best thing that has happened to me, she is the breadwinner – my bread winner.”

This article addresses the issue of breadwinning – not as a new rule, but as a perspective to be considered. Breadwinning should be unisex.

Some families have survived without fathers or paternal figures. Society has made us see men as sole providers and it shouldn’t be so.

Having enough money is not enough.There are times when money leaves and there has to be a backup plan.

Also, Moon and every other name mentioned are not real names. The fake names have been fixed in for discretion.

See also; My wife’s boss steals from me

Ifunanya Mbakogu

Ifunanya Mbakogu is a professional editor and proofreader with a bachelor's degree in English and Literature from the University of Benin. Drawing from a solid level of interpersonal and analytic skills, she is able to present societal issues and matters arising in engaging ways. She is an Editor at Talku Talku.

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